Thoughts From a Fat Girl

Going to teach my first lesson. I was five months into therapy. I've hinted at it before, but I don't know if I have ever written it explicitly before on this blog. I have depression and anxiety. I'm okay now, but two years ago things were very different. Two years ago I realized that I didn't want to be an engineer. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew Chemical Engineering wasn't for me. I told my parents and they decided we should wait and year and come back to it. I didn't make it. You see, I spent most of March to October obsessing over this dilemma. It culminated at the beginning of October when my Mom called me one morning and I burst into tears. Bursting into tears wasn't a new thing, most of the phone calls I made at this time involved a lot of crying. What made this call different was the literal hysterics. I couldn't breathe and I was just in the worst state imaginable. Both of parents drove up to my school to bring me to th

I did y'all. This Saturday, I weighed in at 0.8 below my official Weight Watchers "starting weight." I was 188.6 pounds. This is the happiest I have ever been to see that number. I had the best meeting. Since it is Mardi Gras, I was able to go home and attend the meeting at the location I started at like 10 years ago. AND I had the same leader. Ms. Donna was so happy to see me, and we caught up on everything that has been going on since we last saw each other like two years ago. This week has been filled with King Cake, and I was doing just fine until we had a parent bring one in as a "thank you" to the front office staff. I caved and I had one piece. A very, very small piece. And, I loved it. Every single bite. Every single point. Every thing about that piece of King Cake was so worth it. It may also be attributed to the HELL of a day we had at work that Friday, but it was still just amazing. I have 25 pounds to go until I make it to my pre-depression